From banquet leftovers to new alignments, here is a fresh batch of “David Citations,” for the interesting, weird and just plain zany in sports:
Men are on Mars while women go to class: At the UCA Sports Hall of Fame induction, UALR women’s coach Joe Foley talked about the days he and his wife were students at UCA. He recalled one professor wrote on one of his wife’s papers after giving it a high grade, “It’s a privilege to have you in class.” Foley said his wife asked him what his instructor put on his paper. “Please come to class,” he joked.
Best way to say it’s just one conference game: Of the Southland Conference opener against Northwestern State, University of Central Arkansas coach Clint Conque said, “We will not be sized for rings after the game if we win, and obviously, there will be no trophy presented.”
Best change of pace: UCA wearing white pants for a home game.
Best thing about the NCAA FCS: Northwestern State started conference play 0-4. “In the BCS, you’re done right now,” said coach Bradley Dale Peveto. “At this level, you can start 0-4 and still have a chance to compete for a title. All of your preseason goals are still out there with the exception of being undefeated.”
Best comparison of a speech to a Seinfeld episode: UCA Athletic Director Brad Teague analyzed UCA Sports Hall of Fame inductee James “Red” Morgan’s hilarious, one-liner filled speech at the induction luncheon, “It was 25 minutes of really nothing to do with anything, but it was funny.”
Best reason to be a swimming coach: UCA Hall of Fame inductee Sallie Dalton on why she became a swimming coach at UCA, “I had to coach the swim team to get the volleyball job.”
The days before YouTube: Morgan noted that he was part of a film clip once shown on the “Jack Parr Show,” the forerunner to the “Tonight Show.” He and other UCA players were running downfield on a kickoff when they all threw up their hands and stopped. Why? The kicker missed the ball.
Best way to remember birthdays: UCA Hall of Fame inductee Sandra Reed has two children, Britney and Jaron. They were born nine years apart but on the same date.
Best practice: UCA Hall of Fame inductee Steve Strange Jr. booted a 22-yard field goal in the snow to give the Bears a victory over Central State of Ohio in the 1991 NAIA championship game in Wilberforce, Ohio. Upon accepting his Hall of Fame plaque, Strange looked at Vance Strange and said, “Uncle Vance, all those days of you helping me practice kicks in the snow and ice paid off.”
Best job by Arkansans: Baseball players who grew up in Arkansas, A.J. Burnett, Torii Hunter and Cliff Lee, all played a significant role in their teams winning games in the first round of their divisional series.
Longest name for a college: Along with Central Baptist College, one new member of the NAIA is State University of New York — College of Environmental Science and Forestry (SUNY-CESF).
(Sports columnist David McCollum can be reached at 505-1235 or firstname.lastname@example.org)