After a haunting Saturday, we’ll present a short and creepy batch of "David Citations" of the zany and weird from the sports scene:
Best Voodoo treatment after a victory: Shortly after Saturday’s 25-21 victory over the University of Central Arkansas, Southeastern Louisiana coach Mike Lucas headed to nearby New Orleans to hear a Halloween "Voodoo Fest" featuring the rock group KISS. The coach said he has attended 24 concerts by the classic rock group, which appeared in Little Rock last week. "Just try to keep living my teen-=age days," he said.
Best Halloween experience by a band: For UCA’s game Saturday, the Southeastern Louisiana band dressed up in Halloween costumes -— sort of by sections. The trumpets dressed as Mario characters. The drum section wore Afro wigs and posed as basketball players. The baritone horns and french horn players were pirates. The flag line dressed as witches and shrews. The trombone players wore Village People outfits. The dance team coeds were sexy spiders. The flutes were various Disney characters. And the tuba guys ... They were dressed as assorted Fruit of the Loom characters.
Weirdest victory: Nebraska committed eight turnovers last week in a home game against Iowa State., which was playing without its starting quarterback and running back. The Cyclones recorded their first victory in Lincoln since 1977 with by a whopping 9-7 margin.
Strangest Halloween tricks: Some decisions by SEC referees that have caused commissioner Mike Slive to hand out reprimands like Halloween candy. Next come the suspensions.
You know you’re in redneck country when …: During a recent drive, I was listening to a radio station in a town south of us. It was a special day on the courthouse square. One of the businesses had advertised and widely touted specials such as Smith & Wesson perfume and camo pajamas.
Wonder if Northwest Airline pilots had this sense of direction: On a recent University of Arkansas broadcast over ISP, the announcers and commentators continually commented on the freezing weather for Air Force’s game at Fort Collins, Colo. The Air Force Academy is at Colorado Springs.
Best stat in the loss column: Going into Saturday’s game, out of 33 players who had played on defense for the University of Central Arkansas, 27 had tackles for loss.
Best sports-related Halloween costumes: A SEC official. Houston Nutt. Cliff Lee and A.J. Barnett as the two-armed monster. A weatheman with an umbrella.
Things are best in pairs: Conway Christian took a 36-34 victory Friday night over Two Rivers, basically by converting on three two-point conversions to Two Rivers’ two.
Best football version of a basketball score: Mayflower 67, England 50.
He best watch out for that cattle stampede: In analyzing an upset loss to Texas A&M at Lubbock, Texas Tech coach Mike Leach cited several reasons and future areas of emphasis, including, "We’re not gonna listen to our fat little girlfriends."
(Sports columnist David McCollum can be reached at 505-1235 or firstname.lastname@example.org)