A touch of Olympic, a touch of the Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame induction banquet and a couple of touches on the ridiculous create another in a series of "David Citations," for the interesting, inspiring and just plain weird in sports:
It started with hockey and a poker game broke out: The Canadian women’s hockey team got in trouble with the International Olympic Committee for gathering on the ice and drinking beer and champagne and smoking cigars after their gold medal victory over the U.S.
Players often refer to athletic competition as going to war ... but: This warning has been posted in professional baseball clubhouses and spring training locker rooms: "Keep guns, long knives and explosives out of the clubhouse. Individuals are prohibited from possessing deadly weapons while performing any services for MLB."
Turning up the heat: In Finland, there is a contest to see how long people can stay in a sauna set at 235 degrees Farenheit. Bob Costas, in the Olympic opening ceremony, said, "I don’t know the name of the winner, but he’s probably named Stew."
They would truly be unmentionables: The Norwegian curling team acquired their loud argyle pants in country colors from the same company that supplies John Daly his golf pants. Wonder if they will start buying from Daly’s new line of underwear?
From ice to podium: Dallas Cowboy owner Jerry Jones watched figure skating one night at the Winter Olympics then was on the podium to represent the 1964 Razorbacks the next.
Most appropriate nickname: Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame inductee Bill "Groundhog" Ferrell acquired his nickname because he was born on Groundhog Day.
Best way to seek emotional aid: Former UA coach Frank Broyles said that some of his players use to fake injuries to get into Ferrell’s training room and listen to his talks.
Best excuse during a stick-up: Emcee Bill Valentine told this joke on former San Diego Charger star Leslie O’Neal: "He was walking out of the stadium one night as someone snuck behind him and said it was a stick-up. O’Neal said, ‘Don’t stick up me; I’m just a poor football player.’ The stick-up man said, ‘You don’t have to tell me about that. I just saw the game.’"
Best prayer: Razorback All-America Leotis Harris was the son of sharecroppers. He said he used to hear his mother pray at night at their home near England, "Lord watch our children." His mother died when he as 12. "But I know God is still watching over me," said Harris in his acceptance speech at the ASHOF banquet.
The ref probably got the same thing from his mother: Former Arkansas State coach Nelson Catalina remembers when his team was playing Nebraska in the NIT. A referee came to him and said, "I don’t know who the little man is near the end of the bench, but if he doesn’t shut up, I’m gonna give you a technical foul." Catalina looked down the bench and noticed the man in question was his father, whom he had invited to sit on the bench with the team for the game. He told the referee that. "Play ball," said the referee.
About Vaught: Inductee Charlie Flowers had this to say about legendary coach Johnny Vaught at Ole Miss. "To say he was a genius is not doing him just. If he decided you were gonna play, you did. If he decided you weren’t, you didn’t and only he knew why."
Practice makes you hungry: Former North Little Rock coach Jimmy Culp described this strategy after his team did not play well and was upset in a game, "We went home from (Fort Smith) without supper and when we practiced that night, we were not so good. The next morning at 7 a.m. we got after it."
Most appreciative and realistic prayer: "I thank God for giving me more ability than I could screw up," said Culp.
Something lost in translation: Valentine said Scotty Thurman went to a doctor wanting to improve his sex life. The doctor told him to run 10 miles a day for 14 days, then call him. He did. He asked him how things were going. "How do I know? I’m 140 miles from home."
The big basket for the big picture: Former Razorback star Thurman said when he first started playing basketball, his father had him shoot balls into a clothes basket. "I guess he wanted me to get confidence because it’s hard to miss something that big."
Good question: Why do spring sports have to start before the Winter Olympics end?
A new take on shooting percentages: Comedian Jimmy Fallon saluted the biathlon at the Winter Olympics for athletes being able to carry guns. "In this country," he said, "we call it the NBA."
(Sports columnist David McCollum can be reached at 505-1235 or firstname.lastname@example.org)