Take off running

Police were called Sunday, Jan. 8, right at noon to Conway Commons. A man there, they were told, was acting suspicious. The caller had seen a man, his appearance was detailed, who was tearing open a package and then "took off running" through the parking lot, the report stated. Later the package was found, it being used to hold two tablet-type computers.

The officer investigating knew a store nearby where the man had been spotted sold that type of tablet to see if it had suffered any thefts. He spoke with employees there who told them of a man, not long before the officer arrived, had set off some anti-theft devices while leaving the store, and then "took off running" toward the store where he was spotted, and called in, for acting suspicious. In his wake was found some "spider wire" (used for anti-theft attachment) and a cell phone.

Store representatives were able to get pictures of the man from the security cameras, including of him getting into a SUV-wagon hybrid whose model name is much like that as a extinct Mexican tribe. The two missing tablets were assigned a $108.73 value.

The officer endeavored to return the missing phone. He called the last number the phone had called, and spoke with the woman, listed by first name in the phone’s call records. She didn’t know who the calling phone belonged to and was not able to help the officer. The officer then checked the phone’s text messages and found the owner’s first name, and that he had been arrested in Conway two weeks earlier. The officer checked department records against the name and found the full name of a man arrested on the date given. He checked a mug shot and noted it looked a lot like the person on the security camera footage. Further investigation revealed that man, 30, was married and his wife had the same first name as the woman the officer had first called using the phone.

The officer went to the address listed, but was not able to get in touch with the man or his wife. The phone was booked as evidence.

Decaf, seriously

Saturday night (don’t you know), Jan. 7 at closing in on 8 p.m. and police were called to a Conway Commons store about a woman within who was being "loud and rude in the store," the report stated.

Officers arrived and spotted the woman, as described, then met with her. The woman was in the process of speaking with a manager and cashier, and was in the company of her husband and two children. The reporting officer asked her what was going on.

The woman replied, explaining that she had been "denied service" at the register. The officer noted here the woman, 48, was very "indignant and agitated." The officer explained that police had been called to the store due to a loud customer who was being disruptive.

She had not, she replied to the officer, been loud, nor disruptive, and could not understand why she was being denied service. (One imagines, away from the terse recounting of report-speak, this conversation was a lot more rollicking than what was relayed within its boundaries.)

She was having, she told the officer, it was reported, a problem downloading a coupon on her smartphone. As this conversation ("conversation") went on, the officer reported the woman became "repeatedly argumentative with the store manager." The officer asked her for her driver’s license, and the woman handed over a military dependent’s ID.

The officer spoke with a loss prevention employee of the store, who told him the woman was being very loud and demeaning to the cashier attendant while trying to check out. This had reached the point where the woman’s behaviour was scaring other customers. The loss prevention employee asked the woman be trespassed from the store. A second officer went outside to print out a trespass warning. The investigation continued.

The officer returned, and handed the woman her trespass warning. The woman asked why she was getting such a thing. The reporting officer explained. "This appeared to make her more agitated and she began to raise her voice as she protested the warning," the officer reported. She then asked how to file a complaint. The officer directed her to store procedures, but the woman, angrily, replied she wanted to complain to the police department. Loss prevention asked the woman be taken outside.

Outside the store the woman told ("told") the officers she worked for the regional judicial district and named several judges she worked for. She wanted, she continued, "in information report with Conway Police Department regarding the situation," the report stated.

The officer issued her a incident number and she left, along with her husband and children, the report concluded.

Opposite of funny

Jan. 6 was a Friday and officers were called that night to a home, just a minute or two before 11 p.m., because a woman had called 911 from the home to report an alien within.

The reporting officer and a second arrived and knocked on the door. They were met by a woman, 28, who told them she was "just playing," the report stated. As officers worked to ascertain the nature of the 911 call the woman kept telling them they were just playing, it was reported. The officer reported at this point being concerned about the woman’s well being and if she needed to be screened by mental health professionals.

Then the woman said she was cold and wanted to shut the door. The officer replied before she did so it was either with her outside with them, or them inside with her. She tried to slam the door shot, the officer, again, still not sure about her condition. The officer stepped in and put the woman in handcuffs, despite her resistance, still unsure of her condition.

As they were walking the woman to the car she said she was sorry, the report stated, "and she had an attitude problem." A man in the home told her he was an alien and it scared her so she called 911, she told the officer. Further investigation revealed the woman was sober and of sound mind. Due to the baseless call, however, she was charged with Communicating a False Alarm and Refusal to Submit to Arrest. She was booked.