To get to the other side

It was nearly 9 p.m. when police got the call that Saturday night, Nov. 11. A man was outside the Mapco Express on Dave Ward Drive and was jumping into traffic. The call included a description of what the man was wearing — a hoodie.

The reporting officer arrived and spotted a man, wearing a hoodie as described, leaning in the passenger side of a car, through its open window. "He was obviously supporting himself on the window frame of the car while leaning inside," the officer reported. As he matched the description of the reported traffic-jumper the officer approached the man.

As the officer did so, he made eye contact with the woman in the passenger seat of the car where the man was leaning in. "[She] looked at me with wide eyes and began shaking her head at the male. I took this to mean that the female didn’t know the male or wanted him away from her," the officer reported.

The officer got the man’s attention and spoke with him. The man had some trouble speaking with the officer, but then the man had some trouble keeping his balance, swaying as he spoke. There was something about the man, something that stood out, the officer reporting the "odor of intoxicants" upon the evening air when in the man’s presence (but in more formal and less flowery language).

Why would someone accuse him of running into traffic, the officer asked. "I just crossed the road," the man replied.

The officer asked the man’s name and the man responded by turning to the people in the car he’d just un-leaned from and said "Light my cigarette, I’m going to jail," his hands hidden. The officer instead, and in keeping with the man’s premonition, put the man in handcuffs.

The car backed out and left.

The man, 31, was taken to jail, charged with public intoxication.

Pants optional

There was a man out front of the business, the caller told police, in his car, quite personally engaged with himself. It was Saturday, Nov. 11, at 4:50 p.m.

Dispatch gave the reporting officer a description of the man, and a description of the car he was in, a Toyota Prius, including its license plate number and the name of its registered owner. The officer recognized the car and the name attached to it as being the same as a similar incident a month earlier outside a charity car wash on Harkrider.

As the officer arrived he was flagged down by a woman, who said the man, in his car, had moved down several spaces in the parking lot, and was now parked in front of a second business. The officer drove over and parked near the car, stepping out to speak with the man seated in it.

As the officer walked up he noted the man remained quite engaged with himself, now grabbing the area below his belt, through the shorts he was wearing, repeatedly. The officer introduced himself. The man kept grabbing. The officer asked the man to stop with the grabbing and put both his hands on the car’s steering wheel.

He could not, the man, 32, replied, as there was a pimple where he was repeatedly and vigorously grabbing, and he was trying to pop it. The officer strongly encouraged him to end his self-care regimen and put his hands on the wheel, and the man did so. A second officer arrived.

The officer asked the man for his driver’s license, which he handed over, telling the officer, again, that he was trying to eradicate a pimple. The officer had the second officer stay with the man, and walked over to the woman who pointed the man out as he arrived.

The woman described the man pulling up next to her in the parking lot as she waited for her daughter to come out of the store, and he then lowered his shorts and began a vigorous skin-care ritual as he watched women enter and leave the store.

She provided the officer with a voluntary statement, and the officer advised her of the warrants process.

The man was released, although the officer told him the woman he’d offended could seek a warrant.

The answer man

It was Saturday morning, early Saturday morning, at 1:45 a.m. Nov. 11, when police got the call. A man, described as "suspicious," was knocking on a homeowner’s front door. The reporting officer arrived and spotted a man standing in the home’s front yard as he pulled up.

The officer asked for the man’s ID, which was provided. The man swayed, the rhythm matched by the man’s bloodshot eyes. Where did he live, the officer asked, and the man replied he lived in some nearby apartments, giving the name of the complex.

Where was he going, the officer asked next. "I don’t know," the man replied. Did he know who lived in the home where he’d been knocking on the door? "I thought it was my friend’s house," the man, 22, replied.

He’d had, he admitted to the officer’s question, "about four beers."

The officer noted the man was scratched up. He asked the man how that happened? The man replied he’d probably gotten the scratches from jumping the fence around the home’s backyard.

And here, in that 1:45 a.m. weekend morning classic, the officer noted "the odor of intoxicants." There was an odor of intoxicants on the man’s’ breath, there was an odor of intoxicants on the man’s clothing.

And the man’s shirt and pants were wet.

How did he wind up at that particular home?

"I really don’t remember," he replied.

And where was he going?

"I don’t know sir," he answered.

The officer, with permission, searched the man’s backpack, finding it contained four beers with one empty in a side pocket. Asking again: How did you wind up here?

"I probably walked here from Bear’s Den," the man replied.

All this considered the man was taken in for public intoxication, taken to jail for a four-hour detox.

He could not recall his Social Security number or address when he was booked.