Thursday, March 17, just after lunch and a police officer on patrol saw a woman on a bicycle run a stop sign on a residential street.

She did not even, the report stated, attempt to slow down, blazing right through the intersection marked by the sign.

The officer went blue lights and did a traffic stop, in which he was joined by a second officer. Checking the cyclist’s ID, the officer found the 46-year-old woman was currently on parole.

Also noted was her decidedly nervous demeanor in being confronted by the officers, with her "visibly shaking," per the report. The officers noted no outstanding warrants towards the woman and asked if they could search her. "No," she replied.

The officer then found that as part of her parole she had a signed search order on file, meaning she could be searched at any time.

Once this was determined the woman was searched. The officer found two syringes in the woman’s purse. She was jailed.

At her request, her bicycle was taken to a local business.


The afternoon of March 15 was a Wednesday, and an officer spotted a woman driving her car without a seat belt. The law thus violated the officer did a traffic stop on the woman and spoke with her.

The officer noted in the report that the woman had just left an apartment suspected of being a place where drugs were being sold.

He spoke with the driver, the only person in the car. During the course of this conversation, he asked the woman if there were any drugs in the car. "No," the woman replied.

She further, to the officer’s question, said she had not been around any drugs or drug users recently. The officer asked if he could search the car. "No," again, was the woman’s reply. She did, however, agree with the officer’s request to run his K9, the report stated, around the car. (Note: The term "K9" is both an acronym and initialism of the word "canine," making K9 a unique and rare term in the English language by its ability to hold both roles. Some refer to this as a "pseudo-acronym," although debate exists if a "pseudo-acronym" is an actual thing since that phrase is not found in any dictionaries. Further debate exists if it should be "K-9," with a hyphen, or "K9," without, and it is used in both forms across different agencies throughout the English-speaking world. "K9" is what is used in Conway Police Department reports and thus recorded here. Now, let’s get back to the car, shall we?)

The officer reported taking the K9 (see?) and placing it at the front of the woman’s car, ordering it to "search for the odor of a controlled substance."

He then circled the car three times with the K9, but nothing was detected. The woman was released with a ticket for driving without a seat belt.

The clowns are now armed

Officers were called to a local pawn shop about a burglary in progress the afternoon of March 17. Enroute, the reporting officer was told a man had stolen a gun from the store and ran out, leaving the area in a silver SUV. The officer arrived and had the clerk, the same person who made the call, bring up the incident on the store’s security camera. It showed a man enter the store and ask to look at a 9mm handgun. As he was looking at the gun he asked about high-capacity magazines for the weapon. A second clerk handed him a magazine.

With the gun and magazine in hand, the man ran from the store and sped off in the SUV, the report stated. Those in the store were able to give the officer a description of the SUV, including two possible license plate numbers. The officer ran those, but neither returned to an SUV as described.

They also described unique markings on the machine. The also, of course, described the man.

Noteworthy here and reflected in the report was the man who had taken the gun was wearing goggles, and had blue and green paint on his face and hands, perhaps as if he’d had paintballs fired at him, the officer was told, the report stated.

The gun was entered into the state database as stolen, and a copy of the security footage was included in the report file.