From Conway Police Department reports

White car superstar

It was early in the morning, very early, at one minute before 3 a.m. when an officer on patrol spotted a white pickup truck at Farris and Westgate Center with a man asleep behind the wheel. ("White truck superstar" didn’t rhyme; sue me.) The officer, as would be expected, pulled over to check on the man and the situation. It was Dec. 8, Friday.

The officer, before he did anything else, looked around with his flashlight, including inside the truck cab, to make sure there was nothing untoward, such as a weapon, where the man could reach for it once the officer woke him up. Satisfied that the coast, as it were, was clear, the officer opened the driver’s door and shook the man to wake him up.

He noticed several things once the cab’s door was open. First, a bag of white pills by the gearshift, which appeared to be Xanax. Second, the man had that all-to-often recorded "odor of intoxicants" about him. In time, and with some shaking, the officer was able to raise the man.

"His eyes were bloodshot," the officer reported.

The man admitted to the officer that he had gotten drunk, having done so at Bear’s Den Pizza. After hearing his Miranda rights and agreeing to talking, the man also admitted the pills were, in fact, Xanax.

The officer asked for the man’s driver’s license who, after some fumbling, handed over his debit card (with a Vilonia Eagles symbol on it). The officer had the man try again, and a driver’s license was produced. It was called in, and no other outstanding issues were found.

The officer had the man get out of the truck and the man almost fell, the officer having to grab him before he did so. With that, and in short order, the man was arrested for public intoxication and possession of a controlled substance and taken to jail. The truck was impounded.

Speaking of pizza

Police were called to the Papa John’s restaurant Farris Road Dec. 7, a Thursday, at 10:45 p.m. The call asking for them came from an employee there. A man, police were told, was passed out in the business’s rest room. The reporting officer arrived and was greeted by staff, who showed him back to the bathroom.

There in the bathroom, the officer reported, were other employees, one of whom was holding a stall door open. And there, inside the stall, was a man between the wall and the toilet, sleeping.

He was, the officer reported, snoring. The officer shook the man to wake him up. That didn’t get any where, he reported, so he grabbed the man’s shirt and had him stand up against the wall. Now the officer shined his flashlight in the man’s face while shouting for him to wake up. He finally did so, sleepily, the officer reported. He also appeared disoriented.

The officer asked the man if he knew where he was. "Bear’s Den" was the man’s reply. He then added "drunk."

An ambulance crew came by to check on the man. He was very unsteady, and the officer had to hold the man’s shirt as he walked to a chair, lest he fall over. The man said he didn’t want medical transport, but the ambulance crew did check his blood pressure and sugar levels before leaving.

With all this the man was arrested for public intoxication. He was taken to jail.

Three tires up

Sunday, day of rest, and police got a call. An accident had taken place on Amity Road and someone was injured. The reporting officer to that call went after it, blue lights and siren at full tilt. It was Dec. 10 at 7:49 a.m.

The officer arrived on site to discover there had not been an accident, nor an injury. There was, however, a 54-year-old woman who was very drunk and screaming about her car, pacing around said car in circles.

The officer asked the woman when she had driven the car last.

"Last night," she replied, followed by what the officer reported as "a slew of other unintelligible sentences."

As they spoke, further to her report, she found out the woman didn’t know what time it was and she became increasingly combative with the officer.

The officer made the decision to arrest, charging public intoxication.

The woman reacted by screaming at the officer "threatening and calling me names and phrases that contained an excessive amount of profanity," according to the report. This was exacerbated by the woman’s slurred speech and inability to answer even the most basic questions.

In the course of this, however, she did relay to the officer: "I don’t care if I do get another DUI," it was reported. The officer asked her to calm down, and the woman replied she would bust the officer’s face in.

She was taken to jail, and the car, which had a flat tire and damaged rim, was impounded.

At the jail, the woman’s antics were such that staff had to resort to pepper spray as she thrashed inside a holding cell. No mugshots were taken.