It’s probably time to smile a little again, so here’s a batch of "David Citations" for the interesting, weird and downright zany in sports:
PHRASE A HUSBAND IN ARKANSAS CANNOT MAKE TO HIS WIFE RIGHT NOW: "Honey, I want a motorcycle."
IF SHE CONSENTS, THE BEST REPLY TO THE CYCLE REQUEST: "Better make it a one-seater."
THE ‘SAVE BOBBY PETRINO PROTEST’ IN FAYETTEVILLE IN PERSPECTIVE: From one of the organizers: "If they had won seven games (last season) would we be saying the same thing? Probably not."
SIGN AT KENTUCKY BORDER BEFORE KENTUCKY-LOUISVILLE MATCHUP IN FINAL FOUR: "This state will be closed from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday."
ANGER MANAGEMENT TREATMENT WAS NEXT: Two fans in a Louisiville medical center, one a Kentucky fan, another a Louisville, got into a fist fight while receiving dialysis.
ONE TIP TO NOTE FOR THOSE BRACKET CONTESTS NEXT YEAR: Eighteen of the last 21 men’s NCAA Division I basketball champions have had blue as one of their primary colors. The exceptions are Michigan State, Maryland and Arkansas.
THE STUDENT-ATHLETE EMPHASIS TO A ‘T’: The NCAA, which regularly runs ads emphasizing the "student-athlete," had a banner on the scorers table at a regional tournament: "Welcome to Alanta."
WHY THE MASTERS WINNER IS A PERFECT NEW HERO FOR GOLF: Bubba Watson has the golf "everyman" (never took a lesson) persona as John Daly without the baggage, the boldness and creativity in shot making of Phil Mikelson, the spiritual values at Tim Tebow and he won a significant sporting event in the South with the name of "Bubba."
IT HELPS TO HAVE A CLEAN RECORD IF YOU’RE A GOOD SAMARITAN: Benjamin Williams of Ozark, who gave Bobby Petrino a ride back to Fayetteville after the motorcycle accident, was arrested last week because it was discovered he had outstanding warrants not related to the accident. Another example that Petrino’s crash created probably as much collateral damage as any crash along a deserted road in history.
BEST INDICATION SPORTS SUCCESS BREEDS INTEREST: Baylor University, which is riding a wave of athletic success, has reportedly had 40,000 applications for about 3,000 freshman spots for next semester.
WORST TIMING FOR A PROMOTIONAL BUS TOUR: New ASU coach Gus Malzahn began a bus tour about the state last week to promote and bring new energy to Arkansas State athletics. It began at the exact time that Petrino was fired and he became a major rumored candidate for the University of Arkansas post.
(Sports columnist David McCollum can be reached at 505-1235 or firstname.lastname@example.org)