Ah, the creatures you can meet in airports
For several reasons, I’m not in airports that often anymore and rarely have had a long layover that provides time to observe fellow travelers.
Air travel can be an unnerving, hurry-up-and-wait.
Recently, I got a chance to wait and watch everyone else hurry.
And I learned what an interesting, sport-like activity hustling through airports can be.
Some hurried and harried folks reminded me of animals — or maybe cartoon characters.
Here are a few:
THE MOOSE: He carries a bag in each arm and goes at a steady trot with a gritty look on his face. Loafers with no socks for a quicker trip through security.
THE BEAUTY: Cosmetics neatly arranged in her plastic bag at the top of her carry-on luggage. Flip-flops, for everyday use, with color and glitter. Heels in one baggage pocket for fashion, Flats in another for quicker move. That demure, helpless look in case some nice, young man wants to help with luggage.
THE BEAST: Biggest bag in the airport. Capable of 0 to 15 in seconds. Don’t get in his way. Moving sidewalks are an annoyance.
THE YOUNG BUCK: Goes at full sprint with a messenger bag over his shoulder and a smile on his face. Occasionally, sways his head from side to side to check out any female who might be admiring his dexterity (among other things).
THE GAZELLE: Looks at watch during a full sprint. Uses airports for 10K training.
THE BULL: Similar to The Beast except he’s heavier, stops occasionally to catch his breath and will not say "excuse me" when he jostles you.
THE POSSUM: Huffs and puffs through the airport like he’s near death, then suddenly breaks into a dead sprint at last call for his flight.
THE SHOW HORSE: Has the required bags, a stylish jacket and slacks and moves at a cool stride so as to not let on he’s is a big hurry.
THE CLYDESDALE: Pulls his rolling bag at a steady trot.
THE OX: Slower trot, pushes rolling bag ahead of him.
THE DONKEY: Has the trot down. Not so much with the gate and flight number. Hence, the bewidered look and the need to regularly sit down and check flights and connections.
THE INSECT: A beehive of activity. Flies about seemingly effortlessly with earphones and a constant watch on her smart phone for Facebook updates. Seemingly harmless but will sting if you jump ahead of her in that first boarding group.
THE PEACOCK: Colors abound in fashion. Enough bling to bring the security check to a screeching halt. Stiletto heels. It’s more important how you look trying to get there than whether you actually get there.
THE AMAZON: Similar to the beast except she might have a smaller rolling bag, a large purse and will have more skill in weaving her way through slower travelers.
THE KANGAROO: Moves along at a hop with a sleeping baby in a pouch around her neck.
THE HYBRID BEAST: Athletic shoes and shorts. Steady but calm. Will not run you over but be careful of being clobbered by the tennis racket protruding from the bag. Can be a he or a she.
THE SLOTH: To heck with huffing and puffing. Takes the courtesy cart.
Sports columnist David McCollum can be reached at 505-1235 or firstname.lastname@example.org